Best Fight in the World

There is an internet sensation sweeping the UK BJJ scene at the moment. He goes by the name of Faixaruakimonos and he has been lighting up fight forums with his unique brand of cutting humour. His posts are the stuff of legend. But who is Faixa Rua?

Some say he is from Brazil and a veteran of the BJJ scene now making his own brand of BJJ kimonos, some say he is an impersonator with a genius marketing plan. Who knows? What is true, is that his posts are side splittingly funny and provide welcome light relief from the heated debates that can rage on these forums.

Here are some of examples from the wisdom that is...Faixa:

On the subject of junior grades in BJJ:

frens,
here at Faixa Rua Kimono's we gonna make big promise to you guys we never gonna makey green belts in adult size for sure we carry on for make Green Belt in A1 but if fat kid
wanna green they gonna have lose wait first. So,for sure we gonna support the kids (cept fatty ones) but we NEVER gonna sell out and make adult green belt in brasil the guys already larfing at stupid americans and you guys need for make sure UK don't end up look dumb too.

In response to a rival gi maker:

we no make karate kimono,we no sponsor karate fighter,we only make best fight in world

A summary of how the sizes work out:
Here is special gi for make best fight in the world, not for Judo guy lie on front and turtle, made for jiu jitsu guy make best clock choke in the world.

All sizes from A1 to A5. If you very small then you A1, very fat man is A5, most guys A2 or A3

A1 really small guy, maybe girl.
A2 normal guy, wishes he bit taller though.
A3 Normal guy, make good fight,
A4 Tall guy, always hard find nice gi.
A5 tall guy who fat also, if get side position you big trouble.

Some advice to a poster worried about body odour:
make sure carry spray deodorant in kit bag and when guy in changing room
befor class get tough purple belt hold him from back while you spray him for
least 1 minute in face and all over body shout "now you not gonna smell like grannies pussy!"
this how we deal with problem in Brazil
Faixa Rua's favorite spray is Lynx Oriental for this job

Advice to a beginner on what not to do on your first lesson:

no go to academy with sperm on stomach

On the subject of alleged 'fake' dojos selling on-line BJJ tuition:

man those guys faggot cocks i clock choke those mother fuckers in name of BRAZILIAN JIU JITSU those guys not even pass guarde of my granny,Rob T you me hangry now-why those guys llowed operate?
who gonna smash them?? someone need for go academy and get mount and punch in face front of students then burn their patches and confiskate belt and kick down road until for bleed in gutter.
IS BULLSHEET,NO?

On the subject of differences between the BJJ belt levels:

blue belt=gonna submit most beginner ease include guys from karate and kung fu.blue belt able not get hurt if fight muscle head steroidy on beach or outside club.
purple belt=he nasty guy.gonna be able smash people.SMASH THEM.
brown belt=able twist evryone up real good and still not breath heavy.he not even gonna fight in street no more incase he kill someone.
blackbelt=professor.sometime nice sometime if upset bit dangerous.if pass his guarde he gonna be upset so careful.some blackbelt crazy other nice guy.some gonna contrate on vale tudo,other gonna teach jiu jitsu for student.some gonna be very technical other just tough if guy both he gonna do well in mundial.
ALL CAN DEFEN USING BEST FIGHT IN WORLD

In response to a heated debate between a rival gi maker and Carlson Gracie Club:

man you guys crazey. Argue with karate guy on Internet like argue with woman on minstrel cycle. in Brazil we jus have fight an then never talk to other again an swear life long blood feud
so our children never can be frens as well. maybe that Brazilian way best,is more simple no?

Finally, some thoughts in response to a poster who wondered if Krav Maga was any good?

my fren,
is shit.
i choke most guy for fun but for a krav maga guy i gonna twist him up reel nice.

So watch your back, Faixa Rua is coming and he gonna clock choke you real good if you not wear his nice new gi.

Getting an ear-full

This is BJJ training mate Dan Jones who is illustrating one of the unfortunate pitfalls of heavy training - the dreaded cauliflower ear. Poor Dan travelled from doc to hospital to clinic in his search for someone who will drain the offending lughole of fluid and relieve his pain. In the end, he had to pretend to be a junkie just so he could obtain a 'blue pack' of hypodermic needles and syringes so he could drain it himself. Half a dozen syringe-fulls of pus later, the ear is still a bit puffy and prone to swelling again. Ew! Still, no pain, no gain, as Dan just won a silver at the Kent BJJ Open.
No such disfigurements with me yet. Not with my lock in to guard and hold on dearly A game. My ears normally never go anywhere near to a body to scuff and scrape.

But today, I rolled with the guys who are competing at the next competition and was instructed, well more goaded, by young Daniel to roll with full intensity. So I did as I was told and man! That was awesome. I never roll with anything like the intensity that I suppose I should for tournament work so today was a real eye opener. In five minutes, I must have worked dozens of techniques and manoeuvres all without thinking. Of course I made big mistakes too which I paid for, but it was quite thrilling to work at full speed. It reminded me that that was how I should have played it at the recent Southend comp. But then again, that is what I love about BJJ. You can train at any level you choose and always learn new things.

The Patriot

With the news of a wonderful new president-elect over in the US of A, I thought it was time to celebrate by illustrating some of the more 'interesting' martial arts uniforms your average punter at Rex-Kwon-do can purchase over the net. Enjoy!






And let us not forget our style 'sensei', Master Rex himself. Ooooos!

The Secret Japanese Death Lock

I love old jujitsu books. The funny costumes, the archaic language, the innocence and yet at the same time the dire warnings against the dangers of ruffians and vagabonds - all of it is wonderful in my eyes. Despite their historical and comical entertainment - many of the techniques shown in these old books are the same ones practised by modern jujitsu clubs today. The pictures here are from a 1920 manual produced by a Captain Allan Corstorphin Smith, Hand-to-Hand Instructor of the Infantry School in Colombus, Georgia, USA.
The photos above come under the chapter entitled: "THE SECRET JAPANESE DEATH LOCK - The most effective lock in existence. Superior to the ancient secret holds of Greece and Rome. Known to but a few Japanese and NEVER before published in any book."
Wow! Looks like a basic rear naked to me.



Vintage books usually run through a range of simple wrist and body grab escapes, with throws, elbow locks and usually a couple of techniques where a woman wearing impossible garb is seen throwing an assailant. All great PR. I think most of these instructors were influenced by time spent in Japan with early judo schools, rather than traditional ryu jujitsu.
Probably one of the great unsung heroes of vintage martial arts in the UK is Edward William Barton-Wright, the inventor of Bartitsu and, for a few years at least, quite the celebrity during late Victorian and early Edwardian England. I'll maybe write more about this fascinating gentleman, but savour the thought that Barton-Wright may have been one of the first promoters of 'mixed' martial arts in the West!