Top shelf

There is a secret world out there, a world where shady characters exchange photos, videos and DVDs in exchange for cash. No words are spoken other than to confirm the transaction and names are not divulged. The guilty buyers of these illegal products eagerly rush home to unwrap their purchases and sit in front of the telly or computer for hours.

No, I’m not talking about Michael Jacko style dodgy dealings. I’m talking about the world of pirate BJJ footage – or jitsu-porn – as I like to call it.

Ok, so in a bid to increase my knowledge and understanding of BJJ whilst exercising my couch potato muscles, I found a source who can sell me all manner of BJJ and other martial arts titles. Normally I am averse to using such a system, after all I know full well about copyright, the law and the simple fact that my activities are cheating the very people I admire and look up to in the world of MA. But these DVD’s are hard to come by and damned expensive if you do. Like downloading MP3 files from peer to peer sites, it is illegal and very naughty. But I can’t justify buying the real thing at full price – we’re talking £100 for a 3 DVD set, in some cases, more if you include postage from the States. One way of looking at it is that these DVDs help inspire my training and in turn, helps promote the sport to the wider public. Where else can I view the classic match between 2 Gracie brothers beating the crap out of 2 black belt karate ‘experts’? Where else can I see ‘secret’ footage of real streetfights where BJJ has been used to full effect? Where indeed.

The sad thing is that, like porn or any addiction, the end result is usually an anticlimax. But for some reason, the more you watch, the more you crave new titles since you quickly grow bored of the one previous. Do I actually learn anything? Not really, but it passes the time in a harmless sort of way and maybe, just maybe one or two tricks might filter their way into my brain and onto the mat during sparring. Now, where’s that remote control and spare Kleenex…