3 Apr 2008

Revenge...a dish best served purple

Earlier in the week I was a smug little bastard as I managed to hoax a lot of people with my juvenile april Fools joke.
Oh how the Karma tables were firmly turned last night when I made a complete twat of myself at BJJ.
It all began when I rushed home after work and, so determined was I to go to BJJ, that I rushed through all my evening duties (changing the kids nappies, bathing the kids, cooking dinner, putting the kids to sleep). Finally I rush out to training, nabbing all the gear in my bag and I arrive late of course as usual. But this is not the faux pas, oh no. I get changed and warm up by the side of the mat. One by one, everyone turns around and mouths drop and some muttering goes on. Instructors Nick and Daniel look up and laugh at me...aha, target practice and make gestures at their trousers. Huh? what was going on. I look at myself and don;t notice anything obvious like bird poo or baby poo, or indeed any poo. So I join the class and still the snide looks and suspicous glances carry on. Until finally, one of the junior grades shakes my hand and says congratulation on the purple belt. Arrrrrrgh! I was wearing the wrong belt. I should be wearing my blue belt, but in the rush I brought the purple and since I am a sad sufferer of Daltonism (colour blindness to you and me) I had absolutely no idea!

For those not accustomed with BJJ dojo etiquette, an analogy in say footballing terms is rather like walking into the red side of Liverpool wearing an Everton shirt - you just don't do it. Purple belts are rare and hard to obtain. there is no way in the world I am remotely at purple belt level and I sometimes wonder if I am even worthy of the blue. Hence the strange looks and suspicious glances. And even if I did get promoted, it would mean everyone would try that extra bit harder at sparring, hence the 'target' reference from Nick and Daniel.
Hugely embarrassed, I took off the belt and trained for the rest of the session without one. It made no dfference as I stll got subbed like every two seconds by Daniel and Nick. I think next time I'm going to ask for sponsor patches for my gi from the fast food outlet: Subway.

After the session I explained to everyone in the changing room about my faux pas. The guys were ok about it though. they just actually thought I was promoted and it didn't really bother them. In fact big guy Ollie (he of the evil knee on belly from my previous post) tried to reassure me by saying that he knew of lots of shit purple belts and even some dodgy brown belts in BJJ. Erm, somehow that didn't make me feel less embarrassed !

It was nice to see my sparring pal Stumpy Ninja turn up as well.

So there you go. Karma restored. Notes to self: bin the purple belt; get new colour sensing vision; train harder and try not to look like a prat.

About the Author


Author & Artist

Meerkatsu is the artist name for BJJ black belt Seymour Yang.


Anonymous said...

Write "BLUE" on your Blue Belt. That might be all the prompt you need. Good article, though. Well done.
Peter McC


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