1 Aug 2013
Following the incredible popularity of my previous post on this topic (see part one of the Gross Things That Happen in BJJ) I asked forum members to list more examples of gross scenarios they have experienced. After compiling the anecdotes (here and here)I have chosen ten more for this Part 2. Actually there is an 11th that I didn't put on the photo, mainly because it's more than gross, it is downright physical assault and surely an arrestable offence!
1. Gum shield dribble - gumshields are fantastic for minimising jaw and brain damage in contact sports. They are sadly rubbish at siphoning off saliva. Time a swallow wongly and looking at your partner can cause a volumous amount of dribble to gush towards your partner's face. Delightful!
2. Loose finger tape - finger tape can be pretty strong but some of the cheaper brands or, worse, using basic Elastoplast can mean they come off easily. As they fling off your finger or toe carrying their pus or blood filled stains, they are prone to ending up in someone's face or brrrr, their mouth!
3. Man rug - being sqaushed under side control is bad enough but the sensation is further worsened if your opponent's gi is wide open and his 'manly' chest rug scrapes across your jawline.
4. Pube in mouth - this was sort of covered in Part one of my list with random mat dust and debris but many many people cited the short and curley's being found in the mouth for no known reason. Ewww!
5. Toe clipping in mouth - as with (4) above, this is really quite odd. Someone actually went to the trouble to clip/cut/bite or otherwise remove their own tow nail and, rather than dispose of it sensibly, they simply threw it out into the mat. One person described something entering his mouth that had the texture of a popcorn kernel. When he spat it out, it revealed the unmistakable appearance of a tow clipping. Bleugh!
6. Gas choke - another very popular citation from forum members. This is usually effected when the opponent embarks on a very tight triangle choke and then emits eggy stench aka a fart. The recipient has no choice but to tap.
7. Sneezy handshake - the grappling arts involves much use of the hands. In a way, it shares a commonality with bodily functions like sneezing, bogey picking, snot wiping and any other manner of mucous removal.
8. Burp in face - this is self explanatory and really only unpleasant when the burper has eaten too closely to his training time and the food consisted of strongly flavoured foodstuffs. Not to be confused with...
9. Vom breath - you REALLY don't want to inhale vomit breath. But how did the person vomit, it's just training, right? Well, the video below shows one way it could happen...
10. Acne pus - zits, not just the sole preserve of spotty teenagers, grown men and women get it too. Every now and again, a close abrasive skin to skin contact with your partner could elicit one of the more ripe zits to burst - oozing pale liquid pus all over you.
11. The oil check
I had to ask about this one as I wasn't familiar with the practise. It's known more in wrestling circles where one fighter will insert a finger digit into the anus of his fellow grappler to cause a reaction. The mind surely boggles!
12. The loan gi - this is the gi hanging up in the academy that is loaned out to that first timer. This gi has never been washed yet it is always damp. This gi is neither white, black or blue. Instead it is a murky yellow colour. This gi is either too big or too small and it has an odour in a class of its own. Pity the poor newbie.