BJJ is a bit like eating out in a fancy restaurant...

Hi, reservation for one please.

I'm sorry Sir, tonight is uniforms only, rules of the house.

How about his blue one? It's clean.

Certainly sir, here is your menu...
...tonight we have a starter of warm-ups, followed by a course of stretching. the main course will be passing the guard followed by dessert of sparring.

Um, sounds delicious but I was hoping your speciality of flying armbar would be on the menu?

I'm sorry, only passing the guard tonight.

Do you take card?

I'm afraid only monthly direct debit only Sir.

Jeez, who is that over therre shouting, screaming and swearing?

That will be Master Ramsey, he's a black belt who is visiting us for a TV program called Hell's Dojo, please ignore him.

Ok, what do you recommend for an aperitif?

May I recommend a large portion of the white belt over there Sir, he is big and a bit clumsy, but he is young and perhaps easily submitted by a vintage such as yourself Sir?

Er, what about the cheeky fizzy one over there?

Ah, an excellent choice Sir, but beware, the purple belt means she will crush you despite her diminuitive stature.

Sounds great, do you do fries?

Sir, we are a BJJ academy, Mcdonalds is down the road.

byMeerkatsu

in awful analogy, humour

January 26, 2010

BJJ is a bit like eating out in a fancy restaurant...

Hi, reservation for one please. I'm sorry Sir, tonight is uniforms only, rules of the house. How about his blue one? It's clean....

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Awful Analogies #2, BJJ is a bit like...music

Awful Analogies #2, BJJ is a bit like...music

BJJ is like music. Why? Well both are crafts that require the need to learn in a physical and technical manner. As in BJJ, the learning curve for playing an instrument to a moderately decent ability is pretty steep. In both, there are teachers, books, DVDs, youtube etc who can guide your progress, but ultimately, you only get better the more your practise. As in BJJ, some exponents are just outrageously talented and beyond the ability of most practitioners. Many, many people give up at an early stage. But I think the best analogy between music and BJJ is this - to really 'feel' the joy of music - to take the experience to another level - one needs to play live, onstage, in front of people who appreciate your art. It's the same with BJJ, practising and sparring is one thing, but competing in tournaments, live, in front of people who appreciate the sport, is an experience that cannot be replicated.

Finally, music is clearly a wonderful art-form. Some wouldsay that BJJ is an artform. And when you see the world's best grapplers in action, using techniques that you can also do, but executed in a way you can only dream of, that to me is surely an art.

Below, here is one of BJJ's best artists:

Media news
I should, crossed fingers, have a snippet published in this month's MAI magazine, and another, lengthier article, in the Jan2010 issue of MAI. I'm off to 'Smiths soon to see if they printed it.
Having my work published in print media is pretty nice kudos, but someone close to me remonstrated with me about not getting paid for this kind of work.
Naturally, I see things a little differently.
Writing gives me an outlet to let off steam and think about the sport on a more cerebral level. After all, it's good to exercise both mind and muscle.
Writing also opens doors for me. As my status increases as a spokesperson for this wonderful sport we call BJJ, so I find I get people telling me stuff, asking me about stuff, giving me stuff and best of all...inviting me to see and attend stuff that perhaps I would not normally be given access to.
Of course, things would be different if I relied on this as a means of income. But for now, I'm happy to play the hobbyist BJJer and the hobbyist writer.

Training news
Last week was a great training week. Got my x3 sessions in and sparred with a really good super feather blue belt from Carlsons who visited us. He showed me a ton of stuff and happily beat me into a twisted pretzel. And I was happy to be pretzeled! Thanks to Vince!

But this week I've had to hold back the training. My little lad is ill and wifey and I have to take it in turns to hold him upright at night to stop him choking and screaming in pain. It means we do not get any sleep.

Despite this, I've been trying to get a visiting female black belt to come give us a training session. This person is real special and I'm keeping my fingers crossed something comes out of it. Given her tough schedule, it's unlikely this time, but she knows the interest in the UK is high so maybe a 2010 seminar will happen.

Finally, I would like to give a shout out to Camilla Hansen, who just received her purple belt from my former instructor Eddie Kone. Camilla also took gold at the recent Ground Control no-gi tournament with x3 victories in a row. Awesome! (she's one of the outrageously talented people I talked about above!) . Speaking of Eddie, here's a seminar review written by fellow blogger and long time BJJer Carl Fisher.

byMeerkatsu

in awful analogy

October 14, 2009

Awful Analogies #2, BJJ is a bit like...music

Awful Analogies #2, BJJ is a bit like...music BJJ is like music. Why? Well both are crafts that require the need to learn in a physical and ...

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Awful Analogies #1: Science

Awful Analogies #1, BJJ is a bit like...science

Mention science to non-scientific types and they go all glaze-eyed and quickly find a way to make their exit. Science is not all lofty academia, but is just a way of looking at things devoid of emotion, hype or spin. By this token BJJ, perhaps more than many other martial arts, is very scientific. There is the simple formula: BJJ technique = observe+theorise+experiment+apply.


Science makes no judgement call on what is good or bad, right or wrong. It simply states, if an idea can be proven to work or can show overwhelming evidence that it can work, then it is most probably the right way.

BJJ is constantly evolving. From the countless trials and tribulations of hundreds of thousands of dedicated practitioners comes the techniques we know today. A new position is developed and within weeks, a defence to it is devised, and so on. Competitions enhance the idea of constant struggle, the survival of the best and the fittest.

But, like evolution, BJJ development is not linear. Man did not descend from chimpanzees, as so wrongly lampooned by Victorian cartoonists intent on mocking Darwin, but the idea of common descent is shared by all the various schools of BJJ.

However, like the natural world, the planet is full of niche groups, all happily co-existing in their little enclaves. One school might be full of half guard specialists. They can wreck havoc on the mats using just this. Or another school is the business at spider guard submissions. Every now again, they meet to snap heels at each other then go away, ruminating new ideas.

Scientific principles of the laws of motion and the physics of leverage fill every aspect of BJJ. Unscientific, or unprovable concepts such as invisible energy fields and mind tricks do not apply.

Yes my friends, BJJ is so scientific, it's practically an art form. Now there's a twist.

byMeerkatsu

in awful analogy

September 16, 2009

Awful Analogies #1: Science

Awful Analogies #1, BJJ is a bit like...science Mention science to non-scientific types and they go all glaze-eyed and quickly find a way to...

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